Creatively Constipated

I've written a few posts on writer's block so far, but this one is different.

Why? I don't know, don't ask dumb questions.

Now, writer's block. You have it, we all get it, it's nothing to be ashamed about.

There's probably an app for that.
But we'll do this the old fashioned way.


Tip #1: Research. 
You gotta know your stuff. Luck is great, but it's a terrifying thing to rely on. And there's no way you have all the research you need at this point in the writing process unless you happen to be the nerdiest kid on the face of this planet.
You can always learn more. Always. I have so much writer's block time that I literally know everything about the city my book takes place in.
I mean, holy goodness, I know the crime rates, elevation, cost of living, estimated income, how much carbon monoxide is in the air there, how many walmarts there are... etc.
It's highly likely that this information will never in my life come in handy, but at the same time, I know my world. I probably know it better than 90% of it's residents. This way, my book will have no room for inconsistencies.
Also, you still feel productive while not being able to actually write.


Tip #2: do NOT edit. 

I hear people all the time say that they go back and edit while they suffer writer's block. And I'm like, 

All joking aside, 9 times out of 10 editing while writing is a horrid idea. One, you get confused, two... I don't actually know what two is, but there are definitely more reasons. 

I say 9 out of 10 because I actually know a published author that edited while they wrote. So, it's possible, yes. But they'd been writing for years before this particular instance. If you haven't proven it to be effective for you, I wouldn't even try it.
Say no to drugs and editing while writing. 

Tip #3: Outline. 

Don't roll your eyes at me. I'm serious. I know half the people that write don't use and outline. But think for a moment, you've already written at least something so far. So stop and outline what you've written. Usually, this will jog your memory about what needs to come next. 

Tip #4: Interview your characters. 

Grab some questions off the internet. You can google dating questionnaires like e-harmony's or whatever. Grab about ten questions that are relevant to your character and then write out answers as though your character were answering them. It doesn't sound very effective, but really, it's fantastic. Like, cake and ice cream fantastic. You learn so much about your characters this way. Actually, I'd recommend this even if you don't have writer's block. 

Tip #5: Tell someone what you're trying to say. 

Grab an unsuspecting victi- I mean friend, and tell them about your story. Not only are you getting the words out, but you'll be surprised with how many new ones you come up with. 

If you can't find a person, talk to a cardboard cutout. Or a stuffed animal. Or a chair. Whatever floats your boat. Just make sure you're saying it out loud. 

(Also make sure you're alone, because talking to inanimate objects is a sure way to make people worry about you.)

Tip #6: Unplug your internet. 

What is this madness? Unplug my internet? You cannot be serious! 

I am. 

Facebook and Tumblr are not helping you. Make sure you don't have any internet distractions. Almost 90% of writer's problems comes from being on the internet while writing. 

Just kidding, I made that statistic up. But I dare you to tell me you don't have a problem writing when you're simultaneously stalking facebook photos and trying to overcome your writer's block. 

Tip #7: Write complete and utter crap.

Yep. Go all out. Write the stupidest thing you can possibly think for five minutes. Write a love story between a hippo and a unicorn. Write a story about a mermaid that can't swim. Write something, anything, for five minutes.

Tip #8: Just do it. 

Can't think of a sentence? make a note, all caps, bolded, highlighted, whatever you need to catch your attention later, and then move on. Fill it in later. You don't have to have everything perfect just yet. When the time comes for you to make everything perfect, that's when you have an agent telling you what to clean up.