Overcoming Writer's Block

You have writer's block.
Welcome to the club, we have t-shirts.

Actually, we don't.
Someone make t-shirts for us.

I'm serious, I want a t-shirt.

But anyways, you're stuck. And for some reason you're reading my blog.
So I'm going to help you out.
Because that's what I do for people I like.

THE SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS IS HERE:http://writtenkitten.net/
Go to it. It's not even really an option.
thisisthecoolestsiteyouwillevervisit.
Except for my blog, probably.

Basically it shows you a new picture of an adorable little kitten every 100 words you write.
What better incentive is there?

PSH, none.

Moving on.

So it was requested by a very dear person that I blog about Korean-American dramas or writing soap operas and suspense and screen-writing.
I am no expert in any of these categories so this is going to be an entirely un-educated guess.

Since I have actually never seen a Korean-American drama, I'm going to try my best to convey what I got out of the only soap opera I've ever watched in my life.
It happened about 16 years ago, so bear with my horrible memory.

The Anatomy of an American Soap Opera:

Girl babbles to friend incoherently at the speed of light for twelve minutes about the boy that said friend is secretly dating behind first girl's back.
THEN,



and you can expect the same plot in next week's episode.

The one I saw was actually much more traumatic and violent.
I remember the girl found out the friend was dating the recipient of her unrequited love and so she picked up a fire poker and stabbed her in the back.

Voila, backstabbing in its most literal form.

After that I decided soap operas must be horridly stupid and never watched them again.

ANYWAYS.
I've had a couple people hounding me to take my blog to Tumblr instead.
Well, the truth is, I actually have a Tumblr account already. And I see hundreds of cute/cool pictures and I'm like:

MUST REBLOGG!!!!!

So really a Tumblr blog wouldn't be the best thing for me.
But here's my tumblr account anyways: http://deenashoemaker.tumblr.com/
It has the same URL as my blog pretty much.
Imagine that.

Stay beautiful,

Why Writers Avoid Normal People

We writers like to refer to non-writers as "normal people."
Of course, the reason we do is not as simple as you'd like to think.

Example:

Normal person's browser history:
Facebook
youtube
google mail

Writer's browser history:
details on how you skin someone alive
can you blow up a car by pouring lighter fluid in the tailpipe
how to remove a silver bullet at home using everyday items
if you wanted to kill someone quickly with a machete, where would you hit them

needless to say, if you're one of those Normal People reading this, you're probably frantically trying to close this window and block me from facebook, or currently on the phone with the police.




In fact, I was just having a conversation with Friend about this subject.

Friend: Ok, so I need to know how to kill this girl. It's got to be slow and painful.
Me: You see? This is why we don't talk to Normal People.

Case in point: Normal People just don't understand us.

When a Normal Person hears a conversation between me and Friend, they call the cops. 

When a writer hears a conversation between me and Friend, it's more like "so what's your novel about?"
We writers don't assume everyone that knows how to conduct a heist in detail is a bank robber.
Normal People, well, they do.

And it's a good thing! The world needs Normal People who catch bad guys and stuff.
Normal People protect the planet, writers entertain normal people with novels.
It's a win-win situation.
Until you mix the two...

Here's another example in case my previous one didn't convince you:

Normal Person: "That awkward moment when you overdressed for a party."
Friend, the Writer: "That awkward moment where you realize your intended drug-overdose victim is actually dying of some sort of demonic possession."

Now, don't get me wrong, there are tons of normal writers. 

OK, so maybe not. 

Even if you write a book about girls and makeup and high school you're still going to have strange things in your browser history. 

A guide on how to spot the difference: 

Normal People look like this:




Writers look like this:




Face it: we scare Normal People.

and that, my friend, is why we avoid them.

This post has been brought to you by the letter "N"
And by Friend, who is most definitely not normal.