How Mealtime Goes Down at Our House

So when shopping for food, my grandma likes to buy in bulk.

Yes, I'm an adult and still live with my grandparents.
I'm a tragically poor college student. So sue me.

Back to my point. My grandma buys in bulk.
But she only buys the bulk stuff that's on uber-sale. So really there's no rhyme or reason to the food we have stored in our basement.

I mean seriously. What on earth can you make with 500 cans of green beans, 50 4-packs of butter, and 20 jars of salsa?
Dinner time at our house is like an extreme episode of Chopped.

But let's look on the bright side though.

I mean maybe if the zombie apocalypse happens then we'll at least be able to survive for years down there.
Beggars can't be choosers.
And neither can people hunkered down in a zombie-proof cellar.


Another thing my grandma believes is that if food is in a can, it cannot expire.
Now, this is probably true for most canned foods to a certain extent.
Like, if it's two or three months past the expiration date, you're probably not gonna contract a life-threatening disease.
Mainly, that's the get-off-the-store-shelf-by-this-date date.
But things don't last forever.

Unless they do.

Case in point.
I was cleaning out the cabinets and I found a jar of pineapple ice cream topping from 1974.
Yes, it was still sealed.
Yes, it still looked identical to the ones in your grocery store today.
Except for, you know, the 40 years of product labeling difference.

I knew there was a reason I avoided pineapple ice cream topping.


In other news, the local radio did not take my advice on learning where to place commas.
Unfortunately, they are still trying to give people away.
Much to my dismay, that person was still me.



If you missed the last episode of Grammar Lessons with the Local Radio Station, here's a recap:
Place a comma before someone's name. Because that's grammatically correct. Otherwise you're saying they can win me. And we all know it's socially unacceptable to offer people as a radio prize.
It actually might be illegal. I'll have to look into that.


So that's all I suppose. I'm off to make a grocery list and pray for sales on items that go great with green beans, butter, and salsa.